The Most Anticipated Films of 2011

I started this out as a top ten list of films that I am excited for in 2011 but after looking through all the films that are coming out this year, I simply couldn’t do it. So, here is a list of films that I am looking forward to and why.

1. The Green Hornet -
When I first heard about Seth Rogan reprising the role of The Green Hornet, I thought that someone had lost their effing mind. But now that there is a trailer showing just how awesome this movie is going to be, I have to say that I am dying to see it. When Christoph Waltz broke into American cinema with Inglourious Basterds I instantly fell in love with his talent. Also, this will be the first American film for Jay Chou who will be following in the gigantic shoes of one of my personal idols, Bruce Lee. It is known that Jay Chou is a great admirer of Bruce Lee so that makes me feel good to know that Chou most likely won’t be taking this role lightly.

2. Sucker Punch -
I didn’t know that awesome could be this awesome. This is everything that I could ever dream of compiled into a single film, plus it’s directed by Zack Snyder. I know that some people have certain problems with his films but no one can deny his technical prowess. This is a type of film that needs a man who knows how to make things look like platinum coated gold. The only thing that makes me wary of this film is one that has happened with other Snyder films like 300 and Watchmen, which is the casting. Many of the actors involved with this project aren’t exactly A-listers but I think I will be able to forgive that once Led Zeppelin and Silversun Pickups start playing.

3. Water for Elephants -
Normally, I would be totally against going to see a film that starred both Reese Witherspoon and Rob Pattinson but from what I’ve seen in the trailer I have to say that this film looks like it is going to spectacular. I liked both Constantine and I am Legend, both of which were directed also by Francis Lawrence, even though they do have their faults. I think that this will prove to be a true test of where this director will go with his future films. Also, Christoph Waltz is going to be involved and I’ve already let you know just how gaga I am over his talents. (I feel that I should let everyone know that I am not gay. In fact, I’m engaged… to a woman, because that’s the only legal way to be engaged… I’m going to stop now…)

4. Thor -
Question: If the Cap movie is going to be called Captain America: The First Avenger then why isn’t this movie going to be called “Thor: The Mighty Avenger”? It seems only appropriate doesn’t it? Whatever, it doesn’t really matter. This is another one of those movies that I heard talks about long ago but I could never really see this particular superhero movie work but I was relieved when I heard that Kenneth Branagh was going to be directing. Now that the trailer has been “officially” released I have to say that I am quite excited to see the God of Thunder strike another blow for the monster that is Marvel Studios. And for all of you out there who are wondering why there is a black guy playing a Norse God, all I can say is for you to get over it. Idris Elba is a great actor and I’m sure there are reasons why he was chosen. So just have a little faith.

5. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides -
Even though this is a movie spawned out of a joke from a scene that came about after the credits of the last POTC that placed the fountain of youth at Disney World, I am interested in seeing if what I call a “corporate film” will achieve its main objective which is to simply take people’s money. Now, I don’t think that I will be going to the theatres to watch this film because I am pretty much against big business in general and this movie is really just an extension of that, but I am more interested in what people are going to think of this movie once it comes out. I’m also not saying that I won’t watch it because if I have the opportunity I will to give as fair a judgment as I can and know what people mean when they say they like certain things and dislike others. Plus, I find Johnny Depp amusing.

6. The Hangover: Part II -
If this film is going to be anywhere near as funny as the first then count me in. I loved the idea of male bonding that the first explored with the whole gang going to Las Vegas for a sort of last rites for their friend who was getting married and would no longer be able to enjoy the freedom contained within bachelorhood. Now that I’ve gotten the intellectuality out of the way, I am also excited to see Bill Clinton who is supposedly going to be involved in some way with this film. I’m not exactly sure how that is going to pan out but I’m looking forward to the possibility of the former President embracing his reputation.

7. Kung Fu Panda 2 -
Yet another sequel of which I am looking forward to this coming summer, which has caused me to deem this summer to be Summer of the Sequels. I am worried, however, that because this one is going to be directed by a different person that I have never heard of (Jennifer Yuh), that it might suffer. Now I do not doubt her ability because I have no reason to. I’ve never seen anything she has done, which by now would be the Spawn television series, which I’ve been wanting to see. I also look forward to Jean-Claude Van Damme doing voice over work.

8. The Tree of Life -
This is going to be one of the most beautiful films of the year by any standard. I love Brad Pitt’s acting ability and the photographic style in which the film is shot making this film one of which I am certainly interested in seeing. I’m not too sure what the story is behind the film but from the trailer there is going to be something to do with Pitt and a baby, so as long as it isn’t a focus on his relationship with Jolie’s kids, I think this movie will be very well received.

9. X-Men: First Class -
The X-Men has always been my favorite comic book and I’m always excited every time I hear about a movie being made based on one of the characters from the team. However, after hearing about the characters that have been chosen to be in this particular film, I have to wonder why. I don’t understand why Matthew Vaughn is doing an origin story that doesn’t involve the original team. I just can’t understand the rationality behind this story but once a trailer becomes available to the general public I hope that the Kick-Ass director (no pun intended) will show us what exactly is going on with this thing that I have been racking my brain over since its inception.

10. Super 8 -
I have no idea what this movie is about but from the teaser-trailer I couldn’t be more excited. I’ve heard rumors that this film is going to be a prequel to Cloverfield but that has been tossed to the wind which makes me wonder what is going on with this movie. I can tell you that this film is directed by J. J. Abrams and involves a Super 8 camera and something very strong inside of a train car. From the trailer, I think that this film is very reminiscent of the style that Abrams showed off in Star Trek which is all the more reason for me to want to see this film yesterday.

11. Green Lantern -
This is another one of my favorite comics of all time which makes me excited for the release of this film. I have some issues with the idea of Ryan Reynolds playing the part of Hal Jordan because he doesn’t exactly strike me as the kind of actor that should be playing this part. I think he would be a much better Wally West version of The Flash because of his wit and I really hope that sometime in the near future, he will end up playing Deadpool. I don’t know how I feel about his suit being entirely CGI but I know that I don’t hate it. I think that all the parts are in the right place but I don’t think that it’s going to be the greatest film ever made or the best superhero movie ever, for that matter.

12. Rise of the Apes -
As a science fiction fanatic I have been wondering when this was going to be updated to suit newer audiences. I liked the ideas behind the original series of films and I think that it discusses some important topics that audiences of today need to revisit for more than one reason. Also, I think that by having James Franco and John Lithgow in this film there is going to be some serious improvement from the most recent version starring Mark Walberg. This is also going to be a step up for relative new-comer Rupert Wyatt who will be directing the film so I think that this will be at the very least interesting.

13. Transformers: Dark of the Moon -
I’m sure that by now, you’ve noticed that the majority of these films I’ve listed are science fiction and that can cause some bias, this I know. But this seems to be the way films are going at the moment and many of the films that are going to be really spectacular for a while to come are going to fall into this genre. Therefore, I think that Michael Bay had better show his audience something better than the horrendous thing that he glued together for the previous movie. Both Bay and Shia LaBeouf have admitted to the last film being a piece of garbage and because I believe that people have the ability to learn from their mistakes, I believe that they will give it their all which gets me excited.

14. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 -
The Harry Potter series of books have a special place in my heart for getting me into reading which makes me feel like I absolutely have to see the finale of the series of films that have not only broken records but recorded the growth of the trio since their pre-teen years. Also, with the relative disappointment that was the last film, I feel that this had better be a mega hit among all of us who love this series. I mean I got together with my fiancé thanks to Harry Potter so I think that David Yates has some very high standards to meet, at least from my point of view. So if he gets some way to steady that camera and keep an action shot for more than half of a second, I think he will make plenty of people very happy.

15. Captain America: The First Avenger -
Even though this film has a terrible title and a director that has a rather shaky reputation in terms of making films, I am excited to see Hugo Weaving as The Red Skull and something tells me that Chris Evans will finally find his niche in the superhero genre as Cap. I don’t think that people realize just how important this film is, in terms of how others are going to have to relate to it in order to create a viable premise for the Avengers movie, making this a crucial film in Marvel Studios place in the film industry for years to come. I think that many people are going to go into this and either really love it or really hate it and I hope to God that the outcome is closer to the first option.

16. Cowboys & Aliens -
The trailer for this film would have the majority of people believe that this film is going to be some sort of comedy but by the general tones of the actors within the film, I think that Jon Favreau has intended for something different with his newest comic-to-film adaptation. I think that because so many people believe that the film is going to be a comedy that more people will be drawn to it, I just hope that they won’t walk out when they realize that what they thought was absolutely wrong. I have faith in Favreau because I really enjoy the way he has brought one of the most important figures in comics to the big screen even though Iron Man 2 wasn’t exactly phenomenal. All I can say is that I will definitely be waiting for this to make a splash in the mainstream.

17. Sherlock Holmes 2 -
I’m a sucker for some Sherlock Holmes, let me tell you. I got so excited over the first one and I’m getting just as excited for the release of this one which comes at the end of the year. I’ve always loved detective films and there is no greater detective than Sherlock Holmes and there is no better person to suit Mr. Holmes than Robert Downey Jr. I love the relationship that he and Jude Law share on camera and it becomes obvious that these two have proven themselves to be some of the coolest customers that can be used for the visual adaptation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s famed novel. Not to mention I can’t wait to see Jared Harris as Professor Moriarty.

18. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo -
I was absolutely mesmerized with the Swedish version which literally translates to “Men Who Hate Women” so if you haven’t read Stieg Larsson’s novels or seen the original films then that should give you some idea of just what to expect. I have to tell you that if the masterful David Fincher does his thing to this particular work then you should quite literally be scared. It is going to be extremely hard for some to deal with, which is not to say that the original trio of movies isn’t. I look forward to this film knowing that I am more than likely going to be very impressed.

So there you have it. These are what I feel to be the most anticipated films of 2011 in order of release date. What are you looking forward to?

The Big Sleep, “Stuff Dreams are Made of”

Rating: A+

This is one of those films that reminds me of a time when special effects weren’t needed in order to make people gape over just how good a film really is. And in a time where so many films are acting like 3D is a brand new trend thus inspiring corporate filmmakers, like James Cameron, to jump for joy, I think it’s important to remember the days when acting and story were the driving force. So, I think that a perfect example of such a film is The Big Sleep from 1946 directed by Howard Hawks and written by none other than William Faulkner. I can’t tell you how much I love this film and not just because the director is responsible for some of the most important films in history, like Sergeant York, the original Scarface, and Rio Bravo, or because the writer also wrote some incredible works of literature as well as a ton of screenplays, which a lot of people don’t realize, but because it is one of the first in the film noir genre and it stars my favorite actor of all time (not Sam Jackson, he’s my second favorite), Humphrey Bogart.

The story is one of a typical film noir genre revolving around the private detective, Philip Marlowe (Humphrey Bogart), who gets caught up in some funny business after being hired by a wealthy family. I won’t go into any more detail but I will tell you that a love interest develops between Marlowe and Lauren Bacall’s character Vivian Rutledge. The chemistry between the two works very well which may be because they had been married for about a year by the time this film was released. One of the famous attributions given to Lauren Bacall is that she came up with the name for “The Rat Pack”. I have to say that I like this film more than The Maltese Falcon, which is arguably the first of the film noir genre and also starred Bogie simply because I find the acting to be more enjoyable and the characters are more interesting. Also, by this time the film noir genre was in full swing and there is much more action than in The Maltese Falcon, which I as a man just have to have.

This is a great film for viewing the versatility of Bogie’s acting talents where he goes from being the hard-boiled detective to pretending to be a pretentious book hunter then to being engaged in a very quick-talking argument which always makes me smile in awe of just how good Bogart really is. And just as a side note, there is a restaurant near where I live called “Bogart’s” and seeing this film again has inspired me to go as soon as I get a chance.

I can’t bring myself to like this film more than Casablanca in terms of being a better film but in terms of favoritism, this film outweighs the other because it simply has more personality than the other. Also, as opposed to Casablanca we know Bogie gets the girl in the end, both in the world of the film and in real life. As for the other aspects of filmmaking, this is a straight-forward work focusing primarily on the main character which is traditionally why there is a long monologue at certain times explaining what happened to bring us to that point. Another aspect of this film that I really like is the wardrobe which would be typical of the time and if I had to go gay for any one guy, it would be Bogie just because of how good he looks in a suit, trench coat optional.

If I had to recommend you watch any film that stars Humphrey Bogart just to get a sense of how good Bogie really is, it would have to be this one. The entire film is forced to be carried by the main character which is typical of the genre and I can’t tell you just how well Bogart pulls this off. Normally this would be a tough task to perform for any actor but because of his loving wife and just how talented Bogie is, The Big Sleep becomes a masterpiece.

Superheroes vs Celebrities

So it’s a new year and it’s time to make some resolutions. For this coming year, I resolve to continue writing this comic book and to keep up with this blog on a regular basis (at least once a week). You and I both know that this is not going to stick but I’m going to give it a shot anyway, that way you can’t blame me for not trying, because I know you would love to. Don’t lie, it’s okay, I’ve gotten over it.

Now moving on to more important matters. You may have noticed that I have given the blog a new name. I chose to do this because of two reasons. One, I didn’t think that the previous one completely captured who I am as a person. And two, I am planning on doing more than just reviews of things, that’s what Blippy is for. From here on out I plan to talk about everything that I find to be interesting, which is basically just nerdy stuff like comic books, movies, television, and anything that I just find to be intellectually stimulating; or irritating for that matter.

So to start the New Year off the right way, I have decided to take an idea that came up in a conversation that I had a couple of months ago with the now relatively famous Dr. Andrew J. Kunka. Don’t ask me what the “J” stands for, I have been wondering that ever since I met the man. While discussing some ideas about comics and movies over lunch one day, Dr. Kunka decided to show me something that I, as a lover of comics, found to be awe-inspiring. It just so happened to be the recently reprinted “Superman vs Muhammad Ali”, which is a 72-page long oversized comic that was first published in 1978 by DC Comics.

After showing me this book O’ awesomeness, Dr. Kunka shared with me the idea of putting other superheroes in fights with celebrities. So to take Dr. Kunka’s idea a little farther, I have put together a list of 5 superhero/celebrity bouts that I would pay good money to see.

1. Batman vs Kanye West – This was one that Dr. Kunka came up with and I’m not aware of why he chose Kanye West but I know that I would love to see this fight simply because I want someone to shut the man up. And who would do a better job than Batman? I think it would be a good fight however. Batman is obviously a better fighter but if he would allow Kanye the opportunity for him to open his mouth, I think Kanye would get to Bats. He would tell him that he doesn’t care about black people and that even though he’s a good superhero and all, the majority of the praise he gets should go to Storm from the X-Men. Finally he would assault Batman’s hearing by turning on the auto-tune. From there on out, we would have to see how Batman fairs while being lyrically assaulted.

2. Professor X vs Stephen Hawking – I think that this would be one for the ages. Aside from all of the obvious jokes that can be made about them both being handicapped, I think that this would be a battle fought on the astral plane, and if you thought that Magneto, The Phoenix Force, or Apocalypse were major battles, then you ain’t seen nothing yet. I honestly don’t know who would win in such a battle. Xavier has all the abilities he would ever need to carve a regular man’s mind in two but with the way Hawking’s mind works, I don’t think that he would be able to use regular techniques. I don’t know folks, after this one Cyke and the gang might have to be called “The H-Men”.

3. Rouge vs Bret Michaels – Normally all Rouge would have to do to take down a regular human being would be to just touch them, but Bret has a trick or two up his sleeve. Did I say trick? I meant STD. Because of the sheer ferocity of Bret’s many sexually transmitted diseases they would be so pungent that by simply touching his skin you would become infected. (Reference: every angry female that has been to a Poison concert) This would prove to be an obstacle for Rouge, I’m sure. I know that she might have super strength and the ability to fly, depending on which version we’re talking about, but just look at how long Michaels has survived even after being attacked by his own brain. Leading me to the conclusion that Michaels is actually a zombie. So the super strength, power absorption, and flight of Rouge versus the STD-emitting zombie that is Bret Michaels would prove to be a glorious fight.

4. Flash (Barry Allen) vs O. J. Simpson – Think about it. They could race each other, Flash would be on foot and O. J. would be in his Bronco. Then, because Barry Allen was a police scientist, which would now be known as a CSI, he could be challenged by Simpson to guess whether he truly did do it. This wouldn’t be a straight forward fight but rather more of a challenge for Allen to guess which murders actually belong to Simpson and time is always of the essence in murder trials which is where Flash’s speed would come in handy. The only problem is the darn gloves that just don’t fit. These could prove to be a real challenge for Flash and cause him to fight in a whole new manner.

5. Spider-Man vs Lady GaGa – Paparazzi versus “Paparazzi”. This would also prove to be an interesting battle because while Spider-Man has so many amazing abilities, Lady GaGa has some outfits that could prove to be deadly, so this would come down to camera versus camera. And depending on the amount of sheen that Lady GaGa has to offer, Parker’s photos could be ruined. But Spider-Man has recently developed a suit that is completely invisible which would mean that Lady GaGa might not be able to take photos at all. This would have to be the most epic photo contest ever constructed.

So there you have it, five all-out battles that you probably didn’t even expect. Who do you think would win, and why? And if you have any suggestions for fights you would like to see, let me know. I have to tell you, I think that there would be many hardcore battles between superhumans and celebrities, which is why I have left some below that just didn’t quite make the cut.

• Magneto vs Mel Gibson
• Harley Quinn vs Kourtney Kardashian
• Captain Planet vs Al Gore
• The Blob vs Rush Limbaugh

A Product Review? A Product Review!

I’m going to be trying something new pretty soon thanks to the guys and gals over at CSN Stores. Now, I’ve looked through some of their websites, only some because I think it would take quite a while to go through more than 200 of them that are offered to peruse. After going through them I learned that they offer a very wide variety of items; including couches, accessories, and even bathroom shelving! Now, I’ve seen some companies websites offer a wide range of items, but bathroom shelving?! I’ve never seen anyone offer that wide of a variety.

So you may be asking why I’m talking so much about these sites and what they offer. Well these nice folks have contacted me after seeing just how awesome I am (You believe I’m awesome too, right? Well, you should.) and have offered me a chance to review one of their many products with a $20 gift certificate. Now, I’m not sure what I’ll be reviewing just yet because, frankly, there’s a ton of stuff to choose from and I want to find just the right item. So keep a look out for an upcoming review of a product from CSN Stores.

Man, That's a Good Burger

Rating: B+
Recently, I thought of a movie that I hadn’t seen in a long time. This was a movie that I watched over and over again when it came out. Now, you have to know that when it came out, I was only six years old and was in love with Nickelodeon. Having said that, I was looking into the recesses of the internet and happened upon one of the great childhood movies of all time, Good Burger.

This movie starred one of the greatest comedy duos for childhood entertainment, Kenan Thompson, who is now a star on Saturday Night Live, and Kel Mitchell, who is seemingly nowhere to be found these days. This pair got their start in entertainment with the Nickelodeon television show, All That, which was in essence a children’s version of Saturday Night Live. For what this movie was supposed to be for the kids, it did very well in the acting department, however looking back at it sometime later with adult eyes, I realize that acting does mean a whole lot to kids. However, it doesn’t need to. In its own way, the director, Brian Robbins, gets to teach children a little about the world of competitive business, mirroring actual restaurants like McDonald’s and Burger King. As well as the moral lessons that always come with children’s films, which are basically always “don’t do bad things”, and this film is no exception. The bad guys go to jail for using illegal substances in the food that they are selling to their customers, and the good guys win for sticking to the inventiveness of a dope.

The basic plot of the film follows the path of a very young burger-flipper named Ed (Kel Mitchell) who is as remedial as humanly possible causing a car accident for the unlicensed high school student Dexter Reed (Kenan Thompson) who has just started his summer vacation. After slamming into his teacher Mr. Wheat (Sinbad), Dexter’s friend, Jake (Marques Houston) who was riding in the car runs off never to be seen again, it is presumed that Sinbad caught up to him and threatened to kill him if he did not star in a crappy dance movie with the other members of B2K, but not before putting Dexter in the uncomfortable situation of having to get a summer job to pay for the damage done to his car. After being fired from Mondo Burger, he is offered a job at Good Burger (God, these restaurant names are amazing!) with the help of soon-to-be best friend Ed, at which point the antics ensue. The plot is great and takes unexpected twists with the two meeting celebrities like George Clinton in an insane asylum and everyone’s favorite basketball player, Shaq.

The plot seems to be designed to show off the comedic skills of the pair and does it well. I found myself laughing almost the entire time, except when Dexter talks to Ed about the relationship with his father, at which I ruffled my eyebrows because it did not seem to fit in with the comedic style of the film but did come around in the end to work because of the heart-felt moment when Ed gives Dexter a yo-yo. The only question that is really left for the audience to ponder is; where the hell are the parents? Dexter mentions briefly that his mom is away and at the start of the film we see Ed in his room but that is all of the home life we see for him. Kel kind of gets screwed over in this movie because if you pay attention, he has to be a complete idiot without so much as a last name or parents, possibly even a high school dropout, and only gets the glory of having some special sauce, plus his career pretty much tanks after this film. So who do you think came out better? …I thought so.

From a technical standpoint, this film isn’t anything special. We get to see some trippy flying hamburgers at the beginning of the movie and a cargo truck jumping from a dirt mound onto a mailbox, but that’s pretty much it. However, this film doesn’t need the technicality of a super artistic director to be great. The film is still amazing because it is so character driven which makes the actors responsible for making the film a huge success which it was. The budget for this film was a “whopping” $9,000,000 and came back with a little over twice that, which ain’t too shabby. The actors did their jobs and were rewarded for it.

In all, I love this film. Not because it is a work of art, but what it meant for me as a child. We all have those movies that remind us of days gone by, and even though other generations will look at them and wonder what the hell is wrong with us; we know that “I’m a dude. He’s a dude. She’s a dude. Hey! We’re all dudes.” And all dudes have their day.

I Totally Get Carter

Rating: C
Never in the most deranged parts of my mind would I ever have imagined that Sylvester Stallone would be involved in the same film as Michael Caine, but in the 2000 film Get Carter that is just what we get. This film, directed by Stephen Kay, is based on a book by Ted Lewis called Jack’s Return Home and a remake of the 1971 film of the same name. Not having read the novel or seen the original, I went into watching the film with a total open mind, not expecting the film to meet any preset requirements that I had arranged in my mind. From the very beginning of the film I got overwhelming feeling that I was going to be highly under impressed because of the other recent film choices that Stallone has been making, but I was wrong.

The story of the film revolves around Jack Carter (Sylvester Stallone) returning home from being the major muscle for some sort of mob or casino in Las Vegas to find out about the exact nature of his brother’s death. The details of his job are never truly revealed. The only hint that we get about his job is at the very beginning of the film when he is beating up someone alongside his co-worker, Con McCarty, played by John C. McGinley, who throughout the entire film came off as the exact same character as Dr. Cox from Scrubs. Also, this secondary plot seems to serve no purpose but to hype up the action throughout the film. We never really care when we find out that Carter’s lover, Audrey (Gretchen Mol) will no longer have anything to do with him but will rather stay with her boyfriend named Fletcher (Garwin Sanford) who is Jack’s boss. Because there is little to no focus on Jack dealing with his job and the life he lives in Las Vegas, we don’t really break down and cry over the fact that he is losing his job, his friendship with Con, and his lover. All we really want to see dealt with is how he is going to find out who killed his brother and what he will do when he does.

The only form of sympathy that we see from Jack Carter is when he is around his niece, Doreen who is played by Rachael Leigh Cook. He feels that he must serve as the father figure now that his brother is dead. I’m not going to go into the twists and turns of the film and reveal the entire plot for you but in shear terms of story, the film is great. The problem comes in when we start talking about the technical aspects of the actors as storytellers. This film is very strange because we get two extreme opposites when speaking of acting ability. There are great actors like Michael Caine, who plays a very important character even though he does not get very much screen time, as well as Mickey Rourke, who becomes an eerily great bad guy who disgusts you at the same time. Then we have Stallone who should have retired years ago from the movie business and Rachael Leigh Cook who should stick to movies that don’t have the adult feel that this one does. Cook simply feels miscast in this film, although I understand where she is coming from in terms of her acting. Another positive note to the acting in this film comes from Alan Cumming who plays an extremely wealthy yet very young business mogul. Personally, I have always enjoyed the talents that Cumming has and this film is another instance that I can tack up on my mental cork board.

The best aspect of the film is the cinematography, the entire movie is given a dark tint that makes you feel like it just got finished raining. This is appropriate considering the film is set in Seattle and revolves around some very dark subject matter, so it does not feel unnecessary. Also, there are some shots that stuck into my mind once the credits began to roll. By far the very best part of the entire process of watching this mediocre film was the car chase in which Carter is running from Con who is there to bring Jack back whether he wants to or not. It is nowhere near the same level of great car chases like in The French Connection or Ronin, but what makes it the best part of the film is the audacity to use the camera in a different manner than other chase sequences. The most memorable shot is near the end of the chase when the camera follows Carter’s vehicle by remaining in one place and basically doing a back flip to follow it. Now I am aware that this has been done before and will be done again but what it makes this so great is that it is a physical representation of how Carter’s world is now completely upside down from how it was before this chase. This is the shot that makes the viewer realize how screwed up this character is now and how sucky this situation really is.

One of the aspects that keep this movie from becoming great apart from the acting is the music. The film was filled with what seemed like truly horrible rave music that was purely arranged to give the audience a headache. I’m not sure what was going through the director’s head when he heard those sounds that made him decide to go with it, but it was a terrible mistake.

Stephen Kay’s directing seems to be amateurish but also has instances that are original and interesting and keeps the viewers in their seats. I particularly enjoyed a segment in which Carter throws someone off of a building but we never actually see him push the person off the edge. All we get to see is Carter pushing him around and scaring the hell out of him then there is a cut to Carter walking out of the building onto the street and we see the top of a car caved in with the person laying dead in the middle of the carnage. Kay doesn’t give us the violence directly but instead lets us have only what we need to allow the story to progress.

In all, the film has whispers of greatness but ultimately fails to live up to its potential echoing the ability of the director. This only proves that great directors can only make great movies. Kay has talent but doesn’t seem sure of how to use it with confidence and doesn’t know where his niche is in the film industry. I would suggest watching this film if you are interested in seeing how to use a camera but not for examples of great acting.

In Awe of the Scar Tissue

Rating: B+
How many drugs can a rock star do? How many relapses can a person go through before getting it through their head that this is not the way to go? These are the kinds of questions I found myself asking while reading Anthony Keidis’ autobiography, Scar Tissue. The 400+ page book was an excitingly binding ride filled with sex, drugs, and rock and roll. The star of the Red Hot Chili Peppers discusses his personal history and how he and his friends rose to fame as the in-your-face funk punks that they are known as.

It should not be forgotten that this book is solely about this individual’s journey through his own life and not just one of the band members talking about the struggles they had on their way to stardom. In fact, Keidis makes it clear throughout the book that he didn’t really care whether or not the band made it as a force to be reckoned with in the music industry, he just wanted to jam out with his good buddies and share the love with the world hoping to be embraced.

Almost the entire first half of the star’s account discusses his life before his career and how he gets involved with drugs at the tender age of eleven. He talks about being born in Grand Rapids, Michigan and moving to L.A. to be closer to his father who just so happens to be extremely involved in trafficking drugs to celebrities. This is an absolute recipe for disaster for most kids but not for Anthony. He takes what he has grown up around and with the help of his friends creates some of the most cutting edge music of the eighties and ends up dominating the charts throughout the nineties.

This book was recommended to me by a friend and I had my reservations about reading it because I didn’t think that it would be all that interesting. It seemed like a rock star that just wanted to tell the general public about the hundreds of girls that he has conquered. He made me sit down and just read the opening hook and without a second thought; I bought my ticket and took the ride. The writing is very well done and constantly keeps you moving the entire time you are reading. Whether the book was ghost written by the co-writer, Larry Sloman, is another matter that I am not all that sure about. However, just from the poetic skills that Keidis has in his songs, he could have just used Sloman as a consultant. Whatever the case may be, the writing is very solid with the exception that the use of the word “and” after each word in a list can get to be very old very quick. Unfortunately, that happens a lot. Another unfortunate occurrence is that there were a good number of typos and very obvious mistakes that should have been caught before sending the book out into the world.

One of the major themes that the book tries very hard to get across is Keidis’ cautioning of the use of drugs. He even gives tips on how to deal with those problems should the reader be experiencing them. Keidis is very clear about his caring for other people and easily admits his own faults in some of the situations that have been integral in his life. The book also spares no details on certain sexual exploits that happen very often throughout the book.

There is a great amount of detail that the book is written with that makes you feel like you are right there in the audience, sitting on the bed with him in rehab, or in the studio listening to the raw cuts of the songs. What I like especially about the book is that there are a few sections of pictures that act as a sort of photo album for the times that have already happened and the times that are about to occur soon into the reading. Also, the lyrics from some of the songs are planted in occurrence with the time that they were written letting us see what inspired him to write certain things in his songs. This makes you feel like you are actually inside of the music and every time you hear the song afterward you know what was going through Anthony’s mind when he wrote it thus bringing you closer.

Most biographies are written well into the person’s life but not Anthony’s. He writes more than 400 pages worth of his life when he is only in his mid to late 30s. I would love to see a sequel to this book written just to get the other half of his life that is so mesmerizing. If you have not read this fantastic book, I highly recommend that you go out and buy it. Don’t borrow it from a friend or go to the library. Buy it; it is very much worth it even though there are a few errors in terms of editing.

Two Badass Saints

Rating: B+
The 1999 film, The Boondock Saints, directed by Troy Duffy is an action-packed tale of orphaned twin Irish brothers (Sean Patrick Flannery and Norman Reedus) who take it upon themselves to rid the world of sin. However, the brothers get the attention of the FBI, specifically agent Paul Smecker (Willem Dafoe), when they start killing off the Russian mob in their hometown of Boston. The film takes a journey from the twins’ revelation of becoming the proverbial hand of God to finding out who their father actually is and what he is good at doing.

The brothers are joined by a friend named Rocco, played by David Della Rocco, who serves as the source of comedic relief among the massive amounts of bullets that are constantly whizzing around. The characters seem to be on the edge of insanity throughout the entire film, one of which probably breaks that barrier. Agent Smecker goes beyond his duties as an agent to see the good in what the brothers are doing but in the midst of his epiphany he goes into a fit of hysteria. Dafoe plays the part so well, it’s scary. Dafoe is well known for bringing bad guys to life and shoving the character in your face to scare the hell out of you. By far, Dafoe does the best job in terms of acting within this film but he’s not the only good actor that we see.

Norman Reedus also does a great job playing his role as a vigilante justice seeker. Every time he gets mad, you feel it. Every time he says his prayer, you feel like he’s executing you. I love the way the story plays out. I’ve seen the movie many times now but it is still hard to believe some of the things that happen. Duffy does a great job in telling his story although he could leave out some of the Bostonian cussing which runs ramped throughout the entire film. I like the idea that these two are taking it upon themselves to get rid of everything that’s wrong with the world.

The cinematography is interesting in that there are many scenes in which Smecker visualizes himself being in the same room as the brothers while trying to figure out what is going on. There are a lot of interesting shots that are tried and succeed in making the action more intense or the emotions more potent. These scenes are accented by the music which seems to be chosen in order to make everything about the film more awesome. The wardrobe department did a good job in gauging what was appropriate for a person engaging in activity that lies outside of the law. Sunglasses and trench coats always add to glamorizing handguns even if the ones holding the guns can speak multiple languages and have tattoos on their hands that say “truth” and “justice” in Latin.

As incredibly awesome as this film is, there are a few drawbacks. First of all, not all of the actors were as good as Reedus and Dafoe. The majority of the actors playing various roles in the Russian mob seem to be trying too hard to be bad. None of them seem to draw in kind of emotional response from me, except for maybe annoyed. Also, the film does seem to go a little overboard in making out what the brothers are doing seem great. They are killing people left and right and at the same time making jokes about television shows from days gone by, but we have to realize that when you are surrounded by dead bodies telling jokes may not be an appropriate response. But then again, when the mob has problems with others and their response is extremely gratuitous violence, that isn’t appropriate either.

Duffy’s film is great for making people think about how the violence of the world should be dealt with. It floats along the same lines of revenge as say The Punisher and Kill Bill, but does so with a light-hearted air that makes you wonder if there are some psychiatric issues brewing in the mind of Troy Duffy. These factors, combined with the fact that the film did not make much of a splash when it made its debut, come together to make The Boondock Saints a film that will be remembered as a cult classic.

The Twilight of Vampire Movies

Rating: D
If you are unaware of the recent tween phenomenon known as Twilight then you either live under a rock or are dead. This movie is made by girls for girls. It was written by a woman (Stephanie Meyer), directed by a woman (Catherine Hardwicke), and starred a young female actress named Kristen Stewart who has also been in good movies like Panic Room. Also, a supposedly attractive young male was put in to serve as a love interest. Before we go any further, I would like to make it clear that after the song “Super Massive Black Hole”, which I used to love, was ruined for me during the baseball scene, I could no longer watch this travesty go on any longer. I turned it off and went to read Dracula to heal my mental wounds.

Just in case you are one of the few who have indeed been living under a rock, this film tells a story about a young girl, Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart), who moves to Forks, Washington to live with her father after having trouble living in Arizona with her mother. While there she meets Edward (Robert Pattinson), a mysteriously depressed man who never goes to school when the sun is out. In other words, EMO! All of the buzz around the movie makes the character Edward into a vampire. However, that is entirely inaccurate. In fact, Edward even says that he is something similar to a vampire called a “Cold One”. But I’m not here to discuss the fact that these “Cold Ones” are not vampires.

Just because the movie has done amazingly well, does not mean that it is actually a well done movie. Kristen Stewart is a promising talent that will most certainly go on to do better movies in her future. Unfortunately her character in this film is so depressing and typical of a brooding teenage girl that I could not care about her feelings at all. In fact, I found myself yelling at the screen about how stupid she is for playing a baseball game with a bunch of vampire imitators that want to kill her. The judgment of these characters is completely out of whack with the majority of rational human beings. This alone caused me not to care about the characters but rather made me aggravated with them.

Stewart gives a decent performance while every other actor completely sucks. Pattinson was too busy pouting his lips and squinting his eyes to worry about giving some reality to a flat character. Or maybe he did a really good job of interpreting the character that just sucks. I haven’t read the book and I have no intention of reading it because I’m not a twelve year old girl who suffers from guy problems.

The effects weren’t all that great either. During the Spiderman tree climbing scene you might as well have been seeing the wires around Pattinson’s body. He was at arm’s length from the trunk of the tall tree making for a completely ridiculous look for a vampire. Along with terrible looking effects, there was nothing special about the cinematography. It seemed like there was no innovative thought put behind the film. Everything seemed to rely on the attractiveness of the actors even though Pattinson looks like he has Down Syndrome. As previously stated, this was a film made specifically for females. It is simply a redundancy on Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet except this version has a moody, sparkling, vampire wannabe.

The only good aspect of the entire film was setting. The landscape was absolutely beautiful, capturing the majesty of the forests of Northwest America. Overall, I have one word of recommendation for people thinking about watching or rewatching this film. Don’t.

Tarantino Rewrites History with Inglourious Basterds

Rating: A
Now before we get into this, I must admit that I am a freak for Tarantino movies. My favorite of his is Pulp Fiction. I love the style in which he directs and the sense of a universe that he creates within all of his movies. It is like he turns his films into an individual member of a family. So if we were to go along with that idea in mind then this film, the latest of Quentin Tarantino's works, would be the old grandfather sitting in a rocking chair on the front porch telling war stories to his children. And the children would be wide-eyed and silent.

Quentin Tarantino rewrites the events of World War II by taking the 1978 film of the same name, directed by Enzo G. Castellari, and places the action in a theater, instead of a train, in Nazi-occupied France, instead of Italy. The film focuses on a rag-tag group of Jewish-American soldiers led by Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt), a Lieutenant in the army that has vowed to kill every Nazi that he comes across. At the same time that the Basterds are working their way closer and closer to France from where they were dropped in Italy, Shoshanna Dreyfus (Mélanie Laurent) has just had her entire family slaughtered by SS Colonel Hans Landa (Christoph Waltz) who has the appropriate title of Jew Hunter, a Nazi Sherlock Holmes with pipe to boot. Shoshanna is allowed to escape to Paris where she assumes a new identity as an owner of a movie theater. She becomes the desired object of the young Nazi Fredrick Zoller's (Daniel Brühl) affection. This desire leads to Fredrick convincing Joseph Goebbels (Sylvester Groth) to show his new film, Nation's Pride, which is about Zoller's actions in battle that has made him a hero to his people. Shoshanna takes advantage of the opportunity to kill a bunch of high ranking officers with great pleasure.

Meanwhile the Basterds have made themselves feared among the Germans with a certain soldier that they affectionately refer to as Sgt. Donny "The Bear Jew" Donowitz (Eli Roth) who kills Nazis by bludgeoning them to death with a baseball bat. Even Hitler himself, played by Martin Wuttke, has come to fear the power that this group has gained. The unit makes its way to a village in France called Nadine where they meet up with the British Lt. Archie Hicox (Michael Fassbender) who has a connection with a double agent film actress named Bridget von Hammersmark played by Diane Kruger. Together this group is going to get into the premier of the movie at Shoshanna’s theater but not before plenty of action ensues.

The entire movie is full of the thing that Tarantino loves most, violence. He is even quoted as saying that “violence is one of the most fun things to watch.” When you see this movie that becomes very clear with scenes like The Bear Jew beating the hell out of a Nazi officer’s head or Aldo Raine carving a swastika into the forehead of Hans Landa. This movie is very violent but appropriately so, echoing the horrors of World War II. Obviously, this is not a movie for children both for the fact that it uses the word “fuck” quite often and that it discusses one of the worst events in history.

From a technical standpoint, the movie is very clean in terms of editing and cinematography, which has always been a strong point in Tarantino’s movies. Many shots that are used in this film have been used in his other movies like overheads and shots similar to the trunk shot which is a must have in Tarantino movies. Also, we get a shot of feet. Yes, a shot of feet. For those of you who don’t know, there are two things that you will find in almost every movie by Quentin Tarantino, a shot of a woman’s feet and Samuel L. Jackson, who in this film serves the role of narrator.

Quentin Tarantino is continually growing as a director with every film that he makes and so far, as the last line of the movie states, “this just might be his masterpiece.”

I'm Watching Watchmen

Rating: B+
Being a comic book enthusiast, Zack Snyder’s movie adaptation of the graphic novel, Watchmen, proved to be a cinematic work of art. This harsh and alternate reality of the year 1985 portrays a world where superheroes are the norm and hating them happens just as often as seeing them. When a group of former heroes come back together to investigate the murder of a past colleague after years of disbandment, due to government intervention, they discover a horrible plot to kill millions. Some of these costumed individuals were used, abused, and murdered just as often as they helped. Most people either love this movie or hate it, and the main reasons to hate it are because of the differences from the graphic novel and the not-so-fantastic job in the wardrobe department.

Having read the written work by Alan Moore, after viewing the movie, I have found one main difference between the two, which would be the conclusion to a very twisted tale of a struggle for world peace. Giving away the ending to a newly released movie would be simply rude. However, ending a movie the same way you would end a comic book simply would not work. More people visit the movie theater than read comic books. Maybe it’s because the stereotype about comics is that they are childish and immature, yet going to see a movie about talking chihuahuas is perfectly fine. Some people simply will not buy a giant monster being a conspiracy to create civility between two warring nations, thanks to the smartest man on the planet. This is too much of a science fiction scenario for the general population. It’s not “realistic”, no matter how ridiculous it is to hear someone walk out of a movie saying, “it wasn’t realistic enough” or “that would never happen in real life”. That’s why it’s a movie. Unless it’s a documentary, it isn’t supposed to be realistic. This is why we have a little thing called imagination. But, because the imagination in people has died or is becoming that way, we cannot have a giant monster engineered from an extraordinary man destroying cities and still maintain blockbuster quality. So, we must go with something more “realistic”, a device of war meant to destroy civilizations. Something that was very nice was the homage to the original source, being the genetically enhanced lynx that remains at the side of Matthew Goode’s character, Adrian Veidt, or his superhero name, Ozymandias. Mainstream America can grasp this much easier than the more supernatural occurrence found in the comic. So, this is the compromise that must be made in order to try and entertain everyone that chooses to see this movie.

Another difference from the movie and the written work is leaving out two important characters that we see constantly throughout the graphic novel. These two characters are the newsstand vendor and the kid sitting next to him reading a fake comic, “Curse of the Black Freighter.” These two characters make the audience care about what happens at the end of the movie to everyone that is killed. The graphic novel has a total of twelve chapters and these two characters appear in each one of them. This creates a bond between the reader and the characters that does not occur in the movie. The reasoning for why this could not possibly happen in the movie is simply the time limit. The movie runs for well over two hours, coming close to three, meaning the director would have considered this and must have been relying on the fact that people would have to connect with the fact that it is New York City that is destroyed. It would have hit home with other disasters such as 9/11. This would make people feel sad about what happens but isn’t as effective as using characters from the newsstand. However, these two are shown when the city is destroyed, paying tribute to the graphic novel once again.

Cinematically, this movie is absolutely astounding. The opening montage shows what looks like slow moving pictures, reminiscent of the portraits from Harry Potter. Another great quality about the look of the movie is that a great number of shots are set up to give credit to the graphic novel recreating its scene art, yet again paying tribute. It becomes very apparent that Snyder is a very big fan of the work and wants to make as close to a mirror to the graphic novel as possible. This is very commendable and should be recognized as a great accomplishment in the movie because of its devotion to the source material.

The few differences between the graphic novel and the movie are not so great as to call the movie bad. Acting wise, Jeffery Dean Morgan (The Comedian) and Jackie Earle Haley (Rorschach) were incredible while others like Malin Akerman (Silk Spectre II) and Billy Crudup (Dr. Manhattan) could have possibly been the wrong choices to make. This and some of the costumes and make up could have been justification enough to find faults within the movie. I mean, it was pretty bad to see an obviously fake nose hanging from Nixon’s face that looked like play-doh molded in a farmer’s hands and thrown on a guy’s face and said, “it’ll do.” But, all in all, this incredible twist on saving humanity that has never been done before is reason enough to call this movie great and Zack Snyder’s devotion to the source material should not be over-looked as well. So, should you be watching Watchmen? Most definitely. You’ll be in for one hell of a treat.

Disney Surprises Audiences with Alice in Wonderland

Rating: B-
The new adaptation of Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass, by director Tim Burton, proves to show many that Disney can be a little darker than many would think. With films like Edward Scissorhands and Sleepy Hollow, not to mention his general demeanor, Tim Burton has made his name synonymous with the dark and eerily creepy. The fact that Disney, a kid-friendly company, would go along with scenes of little, blond-haired Alice hopping from decapitated head to decapitated head to get across a moat and a blue caterpillar smoking from a hookah would make most tilt their heads to the side and say “Really?”. While watching this film I found it easy to forget, until after it was over, that this is not the first time Disney has made a visual version of Alice in Wonderland.

It becomes very obvious that Tim Burton is the director of this film when there are trees with gnarled branches to look like fingers and vibrantly neutral colors. The story consists of a twenty-year old Alice who goes back to Underland (the real name of Wonderland) and follows her destiny to save everyone from the tyrannical rule of the Red Queen and restore power to the very peaceful White Queen. The point is made very clear that this film is about Alice’s return to Wonderland and not a remake of the original story, which makes one wonder why a different title was not chosen. The film gives many references to the actual happenings that are found in the book; such as Alice suggesting to her fiancés mother that her white roses should be painted red so that she can have the ones she wanted. Also, there is a montage toward the ending of the film showing the original occurrences of Carroll’s story that appropriately sums up what is needed for the audience to know.

What many potential audience members will want to know about is the performance that Johnny Depp gives as The Mad Hatter. Given that The Mad Hatter is supposed to be somewhat of a tortured soul, Depp is able to show audiences the character’s suffering, and slight insanity, and transform it into a performance that grabs the audience with a loose grip. Depp’s accent for the character does seem to vary at times between British to Scottish apparently without reason, taking away from the film slightly. The actress playing Alice, Mia Wasikowska, will likely be forgotten for her place in this film but does show some potential for improvement and should be looked for in future films. Alan Rickman voices the hookah-smoking, blue caterpillar named Absalom, with a wisdom and superiority that most grandparents use to shower on younger generations. Helena Bonham Carter, a staple of any Tim Burton film, gives a memorable performance as the Red Queen by seeming oddly destined for a role where the character is like a bratty child in control of toy soldiers.

One of the truly great triumphs of Burton’s film is the wardrobe of costumes shown throughout. At the beginning and end of the film wonderful, Victorian-style suits and dresses are shown, paying homage to the time frame in which Carroll’s work was published. Alice’s famous dress from the animated film of days passed is slightly altered by removing the section of white from the front and making it all blue. She is also given a new dress that is typical of the Burton technique, an asymmetrical, red dress with white frills showing black stripes, recalling films like Beetlejuice.

Another amazing aspect of the film is the animation that is so vibrant, real, and innovative. The fact that such a dark-minded film director uses colors that are so vibrant and hit viewers in the face like a baseball bat is innovative in itself, but when the same director uses this technique in conjunction with making his wife, Helena Bonham Carter, into another person with a completely different build, he does enough to make anyone stand back and say “wow!”. When simply watching the film, the viewer gets the sense that close up shots were taken of the actress’ face then digitally added to a computer model of the Red Queen’s body. The two are seemingly melded together and blend perfectly into one another. The mad intensity of colors that are used during Alice’s time at the home of the White Queen makes the screen seem to glow like a portal to heaven. Burton uses the color white on everything in sight, from Anne Hathaway’s hair and dress to the stones supporting the walls of the castle and takes the intensity beyond natural limits to add to the goodness and purity of the character and all her intentions.

Overall, the visual fire that is ignited from the start of the movie burns away the small glitches that are found in the acting and consume the audience in its warm magic. Some of the Victorianly dry comedic aspects may fall flat but the sheer insanity of the Mad Hatter’s dark humor takes control. Disney may have taken a dark route with Mr. Burton, but considering the visual wonder that has been created, I tip my hat.